English - Spanish - Japan: Sin acentos o joozu ja arimasen

Quiero aprender espanol. Cuando vivia en Berkeley y Los Angeles, hablaba en espanol mucho. No se, pero no hablo mucho ahorita. Ojala cuando voy a regresar a Los Angeles (pues, la cuidad de Inglewood) que voy a hablar en espanol.

Tambien, yo estudiaba la lengua japones. La lengua japones es muy interesante. No lo recuerdo todo. No lo recuerdo mucho.

Yo estudio espanol. Watashi wa nihongo naraimasu.

Yo cuento a los numeros uno al cien y mas en espanol. En la japones, puedo contar al numero diez. Ichi, ni, san, shi (yon), go, roku, nana (shi chi), hachi, ku (kyuu), juu.

I am going to the train station. Voy a la estacion del tren. Eki e ikimasu.
Are you going to the train station? Vas a la estacion del tren? Anata wa eki e ikimasu ka.
No, I am going to the restaurante to eat. No, voy al restaurante para comer. Iie, resorante e ikimasen. Gohan o tabemasu.
I don't understand. No entiendo. Wakarimasen.

Palabras muy importante:
beer -- cerveza -- biiru
thanks -- gracias - arigatoo
please -- por favor -- onegai shimasu

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Digression No. 432

A couple of posts ago, I blogged about dandelions and ants.

That blog was inspired by my killing spree. I killed ants - lots of ants - in my bathroom. I showed them; they haven't returned since. My killing spree made me sad. It reminded me of Robert Fugulum's (sp?) book "All I need to Know, I learned in Kindergarten." Bob had a part in his book in which he discussed dandelions - a weed that grew infectiously on Bob's lawn. Bob didn't want to mow his lawn anymore, or spend a gazillion dollas on "the right" lawn care formula.

If there weren't so many ants in the world, then maybe I would have called the National Geographic, 60 minutes, or the Guiness Book of World Record. But no. Dead, dead, die, die. You all must die. Die, die. I'm too all powerful; I must stop the killing.

Two Boots, Salsa, High heels, Rats

I met a friend from my old Fiirm at Two Boots Pizzeria. She said I looked like an artist - I felt ready for spring. I love NYC's style. The people are so stylish. At the same time, I wonder if folks feel a lot of pressure to always look so, you know, "it."

We went salsa dancing in SOHO; the club was near a Cathay Bank. I had so much fun dancing. Simrose's friends are fun - zest for life. One of her friends is from Poland and said I could visit Poland when she returns. Poland is tall, thin, blonde, and just realized she's beautiful, let alone stereotypically beautiful. I also liked Poland because she liked the dinner I made for us. Ken the beautiful is beautiful in real life too.

While in NYC, I realized that the KC has had a significant impact on my worldview. Parts of NYC is dirty and smells horribly. Lots of parts don't and people care and take pride in their beautifully stinky city. The NYC people are nice, smart, and beautiful. I saw two rats chasing each other in the subway. I haven't seen a Cathay Bank since leaving SF Bay Area. I wore a pink mini-skirt that had a tutu like material under it, gold and cream 4-inch wedged shaped high heel shoes, and a cream tank top. Go legs on NYC public subway. Go legs twirling on the dance floor.

I Did Something -- I Did It

I'm still a lawyer, but today was my last day with my firm. I'm going to miss it - the people, fun aspects of practicing (opposing counsel asked me to use my common sense again, oh yeah), and the familiarity. I read an issue of ABA Journal on the the plane to NYC. I paid especially close attention to the ads related to managing one' on firm - time, taxes, research, etc. I'm still a lawyer. Yes.

A few people asked me how do I feel.

I sort of don't want to admit it, but I feel free, I can think clearer, I can see clearer. Did I stifle myself before? Yes. Why? I feel disappointed that I stifled myself. I feel hopeful that I won't unconscious fall into that kind of life again.

The End

Die
Dandelions
Rare
Finality
Ants
Panic
Drain
Precious
Plenty
End

What have I done?

Door Prize Extravaganza

My friend Simrose sings to me sometimes. Well, sometimes our conversation reminds her of a song. Simrose knows a lot of songs. Babs reminds us that "people who need people are the luckiest people..." I am lucky indeed. My GAP went well and I had lots of fun.

The KC Crew loved my door prizes. Although, sometimes folks just sat around guessing at the "it" word or phrase. Hello? Normal conversation, please. Don't tell J-Red that I wanted people to act "normal." Maybe that was the problem -- my normal. Honestly, I tried helping people win, by asking questions that may bring up the "it" word or phrase, and that didn't work so well. Of course, I circulated at my party, but the door prizes added a fun layer. Oooo. Layers like an onion or an ogre.

KC Crew started singing the happy birthday song. And I was excited, I was turned left and right asking, "whose birthday, whose birthday." Oops -- mine.

What's the Purpose of Making a Young Person Cry

I think I almost made a recent high school graduate cry. The black people legal bar association that I belong to conducted a region oral competiton in memory of MLK Jr. After the competition the judges gave positive feedback and constructive criticism. The second place winner, well, the criticism is that she spoke too fast. I wanted to tell her something; my gut said say it. But then I didn't see her; or I thought I saw her go into the bathroom. I went to my car and as I was about to enter it I saw No. 2.

When I was younger I talked fast. At some point I realized that sometimes I did it because I didn't think what I had to say was worth anyone's time. Say it fast; it's done. People could go on with their life. I asked No. 2 to remember that what she had to say was important. The best way to communicate her message was too speak slower so people can understand it. If she believed in G*d that she should consider that G*d has a purpose for her. Part of that purpose includes giving information to people; people that G*d wants to hear her; people that need to hear what she has to say. That she would be doing G*d's will, furthering G*d's purpose for her. Reminded her of how smart and accomplished she was; and supported my proposition by giving her my evaluation of her presentation.

MY GAP, MY GAP

My going away party ("GAP") is tonight. I'm going to have door prizes at my party. It'll be fun. I'm a little sad. I use to, long time ago, when I was left a city or people I liked left a city, I'd give lots of presents. Maybe some of my behavior stemmed from my hope that people won't forget me. I miss everyone already.

Buddhist have a principle about attachment --
The idea is to not have attachment, or, if you do, then recognize that the attachment will cause you suffering. It's about all attachments, including those attachments to family, friends, cars, etc. The idea is to live as much in the present. And be open to doing what you need to do here, so that you can learn lessons that will help you move closer to finding your way. You also influence folks' life along the way.

So, when the KC Crew first said they'd have a GAP for me, my first thought was -- "door prizes." I gathered a few of my favorite things. I want to give everything away, or whatever anyone wants. Okay, maybe I just need to pack a little too and rent the UHAUL. I suffer!!!

Cool idea for "door prizes" is that I'll have a list of phrases or words (collectivelly, "IT") and whoever says IT will receive a door prize. I have five or six prizes. I'm excited.

Swim, Bike, Run -- California Style

I have to study for the California Bar...and I want to try squeezing in the following this summer:
1. take surfing lessons,
2. read my books,
3. train for a triathlon

Most exciting about moving back to L.A.
** running and swimming at the beach

I imagine myself riding my bike to the beach and running a slow run. Running on the beach will be a good challenge. I'll use my bike trainer to get hill exercises in. I'll ride my bike to the pool (I think I found a Masters program in Culver City) and swim. Hopefully I can minimize my driving.

My first triathlon will be in August in Santa Barbara (knock on wood). Agghh!

Countdown to Exit-ville

So, I made my list of legal active cases. I thought I had maybe 6-10 active cases, how about 25-30. I was useful. I knew it. I am so excited about leaving. My nerves are a little shot to hell - little sleep, too much stuff going on, bad diet, little exercise, etc. Now, I have to take steps to sleep, organize, eat, exercise, etc.

Saturday, Simrose and I decided we're trying out for "Amazing Race." We have a concept for our video explaining why us. I'll post it on my blog as soon as possible.

California Bar Exam here I come.

A Million Little Directions

I have a million things to do and now there's a traffic jam in my brain.

I have at least 10 books that I have to read. I just have to. Then there's the cleaning and packing. Plus getting my affairs at work in order.

Okay, I just noticed a big bug on my ceiling. It has a million legs.

Finish my CA Bar moral character questionnaire. I paid for my CA Bar materials -- books only.

It is moving.

Learn how to edit a movie with -- it's moving again.

Simrose and I are preparing for our "Amazing Race" adventure.

Exercise -- swim, bike, run. Yoga - 15 minute video. Eat well.

UPDATE

I took a nap. Woke up and got some B&J mint cookies 'n creme ice cream. Back to the list.

Connecting to Songs

I getting it. Singing comes from the belly and not really the throat. Plus I have to remember to have fun and connect to the song. Songs I'm working on:
I Got Rhythm
Memory
My Funny Valentine

Parking Fairies: Letting Myself Be Annoyed

My friend just returned from Japan and wanted to hang out; she won't be around for my going away party, so this is it. The best thing next to seeing my friend was that I discovered that I have a pet peeve. Well, maybe, I giggled toward the end of my little "episode."

Picture it, Kansas City, 2006, parking garage at the Plaza
I'm looking for parking
I'm asking the parking fairies to help me find a spot
This garage is pretty crowded
Well, I see spots in the back, but I have faith in the fairies

Score! Brake lights, then reverse lights. Score!
Then nothing, then brake lights....
I had to choose: wait for nothing or wait too long
Honestly, what are you people doing in there

Then it happened cars started to back up behind me
Have I ruined their lives;
Sounds like 9 years of crazy haunting me
Now, I'm embarrassed, my cheeks turn red
I have to choose: either I (1) wait for nothng or (2) wait too long
Is this a lesson in patience; I'm so confused
I just want to park in the back and walk, please I want to go

What about the horn? That's too aggressive.
If I honk, will they understand that I don't hate them,
But I just want them to f*ckin' move, well, not f*ckin'
The f-word and my "embarassment" makes me giggle
So inconsiderate, well I'm just embarassed, waiting like a fool
Honk. The driver gets "it" -- they do exist

Unfortunately, the driver drives forward and hits the wall
Fortunately, the driver figures out that two objects can't occupy the same space

The driver f*nally pulled out the spot

Thank you parking fairies.

See, California Isn't So Bad

Opportunity to Avoid Pissing G*d Off



Optional Vegetation


*** photos by Marie ***

Working Out Life's Problems in a Fitting Room

I have another scene that I'm studying for in acting class. I'm Linda. And my friend, Mariel, and I are at a chic boutique. The moment before this scene we were talking about buying the dress Mariel is trying on, whether her husband will kill her for buying the dress, and well how I don't want to get married because her marriage and the marriage of most of my friends suck. There always fighting, or having to hide their credit card receipts. It's not worth it -- getting married. Mariel is married to a rich guy, and she doesn't work.

#1
Mariel doesn't really respect my decision to be single. She's wrong about being married to someone, preferably a rich man, is better than being single. She's wrong.

I wouldn't trade my life for hers; her husband doesn't respect her. I do dream of having a man in my life, someone to marry. Mariel is wrong though to just think my life is unhappy because I don't have a man. I want her to listen to what I have to say -- about those things that would make me happy.

She's great, god I love her, but she's so needy. Sometimes, when I'm in the mood, I like the fact that she needs me. I'm smarter and independent. Today, well, I'm hungry and she's working my nerves. I'll never going to eat.

#2
Mariel is married to a man who doesn't love and respect her. She's perfect and he doesn't see it. I could make her happy, and everything would be perfect. I want her to listen to what I have to say about how I could make her happy. We're best friends. We shop, dine, laugh, and cry together. With Gary, her husband, it's just "don't buy this," or let me ignore you some more. She must know I love her, or I could just explain and make her see what we have.

*****

I don't have the whole scene, so I'm making choices.

Angry Encounter

The other day someone was mean to my mom. My mom called me and explained the situation. She had the mean person call me. I don't think I'd ever been so mad at anyone before. He was just being a bully. At first the anger felt like a flash of warm light on my checks. The feeling quickly disappeared as I imagined the bridges that connect us as human. Then I thought of waiting until the mean person steps on his bridge to walk towards me. I'd set the bridge on fire. I reminded myself to breathe -- and instead my breathing sounded like a hiss -- breathe -- grunt -- breathe -- growl. The left side of my top lip curved up. And I wondered if I could have a rationale, intelligent, or effective conversation if I stayed so angry.

The mean person called. And I could feel the blood rush to my face, especially my cheeks and nose. My hands became cold and my body shivered slightly. I first noticed the shivering began in my shoulder. There was a vein on the right side of my neck that began to pulsate. I tucked away as much as could at the instant it happened. It seemed that my hearing was alittle off. I squinted and looked out of the corner of my eyes -- it seemed to make hearing easier. Then my voice shifted from resonnating mainly in my throat and began to spread over my whole mouth -- first the back of my tongue, the bounced off the inside of my cheeks, my clinched jaw relaxed, the words found their way to the tip of my tongue, and rolled over my teeth. Was I less angry? My hands were still cold, though. I knew the mean person's secret; he knew mine. Should I shift my attitude? I realized I was bored; he can't hurt my mom; he knows it and I know it.

It was an incredible experience.

Take A Hike -- Malibu & Topanga Canyon

Waterfall



Niece Hiking with Marie











Fog Rolling into the Canyon






Hiking at Dusk

Give Us Us Free or L.L. Was Right

Instantly, I realized that I forgot to prepare my first line. I just marched into the office of the One. I prepared to put one foot in front of the other; walk across the floor; hand Him my resignation letter. But what should I open with? A good morning? A good joke? I wonder if I really said what I think I said. I did say good morning. And then I channeled the power of ninjas and, my hero, Cinque. Brilliant.

Responses in general:
Shock
I knew it
Congratulations
We'll miss you
Burn it all
Do they get it

I'm free to be unemployed. Unemployed. The one certainity in my present is that, well, I don't have a future. I just have a now. Well, I have a checklist too.

A Bit Sad -- My Sweetest Friend

"Hurt" by Johnny Cash

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear my crown of thorns
on my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
beneath the stains of time
the feeling disappears
you are someone else
I am still right here
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know goes away
in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

Channeling Ninja Skills to Fight Justice

BECOME ONE WITH THE NINJA

Yesterday and today I had to go to Court to defend my firm's clients legal rights. It was a good day; I didn't have to use my A-K. The whole point about ninjas is that they sneak into a room, throw shit, or fly from a tree, you know why the ninjas are there -- to kick butts. Can you imagine, walking down the street and whosh a ninja appears. Your first thought is, what the f**k did I do? Ninjas don't ask if it's okay to kick your butt. Ninja power can also be used to ask your boss for stuff and to avoid your boss.

I am pretty comfortable negotiating my client's position, discussing the issues with opposing counsel, and communicating with the court. Some of my confidence stems from my understanding of the law, my acting experience, and improvement in my self-esteem (insert Digression #2).

GRANT HER MOTIONS PLEASE

Yesterday, for example, I asked opposing counsel ("OC 1") for something ("X") and I learned about last week when I was working on a different case. OC 1 didn't want to give me X, I could ask the Court for X pursuant to a specific statute. Oh yeah, I know the statute number. I can say it slow, fast, and backwards. Long story short, OC 1 withdrew his objection to my motion because he didn't want his client to be restricted by X. Oh yeah! The Court was like okay, a little confused, grabbed his rule book. I was like don't bother your honor here's what X is all about and here's why our compromise is to just grant my motion. Gotta go.

Cool thing about that Judge is that I've had to hang out with him socially a little. I mean beside bar association stuff. Judge is the regional big kahuna of a international organization. One of my friends invited me to social events with the org.

Today, before the Court called my case, well actually OC 2 and I were blah, blah, blah, whisper, whisper, and another attorney asked us, umm did the Court just call your case. Shit. Part of the blah, included me asking OC 2 to explain the basis of his opposition to my motion again. I made him tell it to me like I'm a third grader. OC 2 rationale didn't make sense again. That's what I told the Court too. Motion granted. Gotta go.