Chronicles of a "Boomeranger"

My friend told me he read an article about people in their mid 20s-30s moving back home with their parents. I guess there is a trend. I didn't read the article. I live the article. Actually, I have it pretty easy, especially in terms of cost. When I first got here I was in denial regarding and enabled old familiar relationship patterns. Then I just wanted to sleep in my car.

The Mom has vacation coming up and I asked her where was she going to go. She hesitated and said, "well, I don't really want to leave you here by yourself." Leave me here? My outside voice asked, "are you kidding? I lived on my own for 14 years. What are you talking about? I don't even understand what you're saying." My mom just laughed.

We just got home from grocery shopping and I announced I had to go to the bathroom first. Part of me made the announcement, in part, so I can have first dibs on the bathroom. My mom asked, "which number?" I did a double take, got a crink in my neck, and almost ran into the wall. For a second the thought crossed my mind that I was ordering at McDonald's and maybe forgot or something. My mom saw the jacked up contorted expression on my face - laughed and said, "I don't know what I was thinking." Speechless.

So I got up to go to the bathroom without announcing my intention. The Mom sees me and asks, "where you going?" My inside voice thinks, "get out of my bladder." I say out loud, "do you mean which number?"