Channeling Ninja Skills to Fight Justice

BECOME ONE WITH THE NINJA

Yesterday and today I had to go to Court to defend my firm's clients legal rights. It was a good day; I didn't have to use my A-K. The whole point about ninjas is that they sneak into a room, throw shit, or fly from a tree, you know why the ninjas are there -- to kick butts. Can you imagine, walking down the street and whosh a ninja appears. Your first thought is, what the f**k did I do? Ninjas don't ask if it's okay to kick your butt. Ninja power can also be used to ask your boss for stuff and to avoid your boss.

I am pretty comfortable negotiating my client's position, discussing the issues with opposing counsel, and communicating with the court. Some of my confidence stems from my understanding of the law, my acting experience, and improvement in my self-esteem (insert Digression #2).

GRANT HER MOTIONS PLEASE

Yesterday, for example, I asked opposing counsel ("OC 1") for something ("X") and I learned about last week when I was working on a different case. OC 1 didn't want to give me X, I could ask the Court for X pursuant to a specific statute. Oh yeah, I know the statute number. I can say it slow, fast, and backwards. Long story short, OC 1 withdrew his objection to my motion because he didn't want his client to be restricted by X. Oh yeah! The Court was like okay, a little confused, grabbed his rule book. I was like don't bother your honor here's what X is all about and here's why our compromise is to just grant my motion. Gotta go.

Cool thing about that Judge is that I've had to hang out with him socially a little. I mean beside bar association stuff. Judge is the regional big kahuna of a international organization. One of my friends invited me to social events with the org.

Today, before the Court called my case, well actually OC 2 and I were blah, blah, blah, whisper, whisper, and another attorney asked us, umm did the Court just call your case. Shit. Part of the blah, included me asking OC 2 to explain the basis of his opposition to my motion again. I made him tell it to me like I'm a third grader. OC 2 rationale didn't make sense again. That's what I told the Court too. Motion granted. Gotta go.